How do I find my new normal?

Question

My husband passed, last year and I was forced to move.  I sold the house, found me a place to live and my son helped me move.  At the beginning, of this year, I decided it was my year to help others and began volunteering in a few places....then COVID and a lock down hit.  I'm still able to go out and buy the food I need but the places I volunteered at.......are not open yet.  
Before I met my husband, in 2008, I was still working and then retired.  We got married and did a lot of traveling.  Now, thankfully, I have enough for monthly expenses but not much more.  Some days - I just sit here and try to figure out how to move on.....I did go to Grief Share classes.  
If I get out............then I tend to spend money I shouldn't.  I just don't know what my new normal is anymore.  I'm not depressed at all.....I just don't know which way to turn.  
Before 2008, I worked and was always busy.  Now, there's only so much cleaning I can do, in a day, and no one to talk to but my house plants.

Anonymous · Answer

Those times will come again L. This virus will end and we can all go back to normal. Just got to hunker down and keep ourselves sane until then. When it's normal again you can get back out there finding things to enjoy. Have you got people you can facetime with on the computer. Or are there any message boards you can join so you can chat with people. Not this kind of place, it's full of nut jobs. Just wait it out L and you'll find a new normal.

? · Answer

want to save even more money? move into a refurbished van designed to be lived in and go from there. you can park it at different friends and family's houses most of the time to save money.

as for another partner .... don't force it. when it happens it'll happen.

? · Answer

You don't say how old you are but you need to find another partner to share your life with, it can be very lonely living alone. I know you may think it is too soon but  loneliness can lead to depression and that is something you surely don't need. Is your son the only child you have?

Foofa · Answer

This isn't a replacement for a job or human contact, but a lot of people are finding solace in adopting a pet during this period of isolation.

? · Answer

Those times will come again L. This virus will end and we can all go back to normal. Just got to hunker down and keep ourselves sane until then. When it's normal again you can get back out there finding things to enjoy. Have you got people you can facetime with on the computer. Or are there any message boards you can join so you can chat with people. Not this kind of place, it's full of nut jobs. Just wait it out L and you'll find a new normal.

Dr. Stephanie · Answer

You are reflecting what many others are experiencing, in this time of pandemic isolation. On top of this, having lost your partner, as well. You might wish to try to find employment, even part time, if it could be done safely in view of covid.  You need to be in touch with others, kept busier, and you could also use the extra money, right?  You could also try volunteering in any area of interest to you.I would also recommend that you consider getting a pet, perhaps a cat or dog? The companionship would be invaluable to you. Good wishes,

? · Answer

Oh Dear; I'm sorry to hear this. Are there any on-line courses you can take advantage of so that you can be a better informed volunteer or part-time worker or self employed one? Join a Zoom choir or quiz?

Good Luck!

How do I find my new normal?

7 Answers