Was I wrong to react this way?

Question

I’m a Covid-19 survivor and my lungs are completely severely shot. On the other hand, I also dispose smoking cigarettes and vaping with a passion. I think it’s a waste of time, money and health. I confronted her a while back and laid it out, that I didn’t want her vaping for own health and mine as well. I’ve legit caught her many times and confronted her about it. She keeps telling me that she just tries it. She told me she wouldn’t vape again. Earlier tonight I saw a live that she did and she was vaping in living color. It felt like a punch to my gut. She then proceeds again to tell me she only tries it and she only does it on live Facebook which makes no sense. At least to me it doesn’t. Them she told me it helps her nerves because she has a lot of stuff on her mind. I legit flipped the **** out on her and told her she needed to stop. I feel like a jerk right now. Was I wrong in telling her to stop only because I don’t like it?

beenthere · Answer

"Her" is addicted.  "Her" cannot stop.  You telling her to stop simply shames or embarrasses her.  It might make you feel good to let her know that you do not share this addiction but it does not encourage her in any way

? · Answer

Without knowing who "she" is it's hard to say. If this is a parent maybe you just need to let them do their thing. If this is a sibling all you can offer is your sound advice. If this is a love interest you're within your rights to end that relationship if she's not taking her health seriously. If this is just a friend it probably falls under the umbrella of not your business.

? · Answer

i wouldnt give her an allowance, that way she cant buy it

drip · Answer

Who is this mysterious Her? If you are living in the same house as someone who is smoking g or vaping, then it is compromising your health. You move out or they move out. 
If you are dating or a friend of a smoker or someone who is vaping then use your own initiative to not be around them.

You have no business telling someone else not to smoke or vape. You can only say you won’t be around them if they do for your own well being and health.

Anonymous · Answer

This makes little or no sense.  You "also dispose smoking cigarettes and vaping with a passion."  What?  Dispose?  You confronted "her."  Who exactly is "her?"  Your mother, sister, gf, wife, neighbor?  I don't know if you're a jerk in person.

Allison · Answer

NO you were NOT!  SHE is the INCONSIDERATE JERK!

? · Answer

You over reacted. You cannot control anyone else. Just like they cannot control you. If you had a dog and some girl hated dogs, would she have the right to tell you to kill it to make her happy? NO. And you have no right to make a demand of her that is her choice to do. If it really bothers you then find someone else to be with. You can't change others, you can only change yourself.

Anonymous · Answer

From now on, I shall officially be known as Wiggles!

Was I wrong to react this way?

8 Answers