Why did they abduct me?

They got me. I was driving down the road and there was a thing in the air all a sudden in front of me. There was a flash and all a sudden I was above my '92 f150 and watched it crash into some trees. Then I was in a weird place. There were black lights and reactive posters of led Zeppelin, a taffeta of Jimi Hendrix and the strong smell of what might have been marijuana. I was strapped to what felt like a couch when they gathered around me. I screamed, "What do you want!". The big'n (he was skinny and really tall), then said, "in perfect English, "Do you know him?"..I was like, "Jesus?'...He shook his weird head slowly and then said, "No. The one you call "Eddie". Do you know him?" I was like..."Eddie?". He nodded and said, "Van Halen"... I was like, "I mean I've never met him, but.."

The next thing I knew I was laying on the ground next to my truck. It was all better like it'd never crashed, except for some bondo they screwed up. But bondo is a tricky thing.