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What do you think of this poem?
Any criticism will be appreciated.
ANGELA
Lonely beauty sings in the lake
Behind the autumn trees
Her song is full of sad longing
For spring and its cool breez
The beauty sings,the echo rings
In valleys of the Holy Spring
The beauty dance,\"A maiden dance\"
And flies over the lake in trance
She draws the shadow sword and run
With lake water touching the blade
Her fighting stance is full of grace
Her sword handle is made of jade
She fights with leaves and drops of dew
And cut them all in parts of two
Her blade is sharp,her stance agile
Her beauty brings opponents to trial
I see her everyday on lake
Her beauty brings my soul to shake
They say her name is ANGELA
She can in fight break bones like cake
I hope you will like it and reply.
©Muhammad Ali
8/15/2012
1 AnswerPoetry9 years agoWould some of you share poems about yourselves.Here is one of my own?
C/C it please
They ask me who am I
I say :”an Olympian God
Right from the heaven”
They amuse themselves
They laugh
I say:”laugh you petty creatures”
“You mortals”
I am above and beyond you
They ask:”why are u here?”
I say:”to punish you”
They mock they laugh
I say:”you know not”
I am stranded,I am weak
I look like you
But I am different
Who are you O! around me?
I am not you.
You look like lost children
On the path left ,right to me
I look at you, and think
What you have become at the end
O ones! Who are to the right
Who think that faith is might
And faith has right to run
This world of lies and pun
In faith you take your flight
Against all humanly plights
Enough!
O ones! Who are to the left
Who think that faith is theft
And logic and reason is right
Against all humanly plight
Enough!
Why you think other is wrong
Why you think fight is right
Why not you open your eyes
Why not some of you realize
The deadly faiths the logical lies
That blindfold the eyes
Come, look at the path between
So calm, peaceful and serene
Come look at the path so green
That logic and faith, inter-wind
To make a lovely light
Whose rays on the whole world shine
©Muhammad Ali 8/15/2012
2 AnswersPoetry9 years agoWhy are people going more towards religion when many things which they say have no logical basis?
You can't say that all people who embrace some religion or stick to some religion in any way have distorted mind and are fools.
If so then most of mankind is fool because they believe in some religion.
Many great philosophers,thinkers,scientists were fools because they also believed in some religion.
7 AnswersReligion & Spirituality9 years agoIs this poem good enough to make a girl's heart melt?
I have written this poem for someone for whom I have feelings.
MY BEAUTIFUL GIRL
Whenever at night I think of you
I feel my dream coming true
Whenever I see your shining face
My worries run without a trace
Your image makes me feel alive
Your feeling makes me live and thrive
Your twinkle eyes in the starless skies
Bring me hope in the depths of demise
Your dark hairs always bring
With them the scent of coming spring
I look at you and think with a smile
Are you for a moment or for a while
© Muhammad Ali 8/11/2012
1 AnswerPoetry9 years agoHow is my poem?Good criticism will be appreciated.?
Ecstasy
I often in a state of ecstasy;
think;
that I am the one;
One in seven Billion;
The chosen;
the ultimate hero;
That I am different;
Different from all;
In a state when it seems:
that darkness is gone;
The sun has come;
and I see every thing;
And everyone;
The knowledge seems;
To flood my mind;
And it seems;
That all the truth has come;
Into my sight;
All that is lovely;
So truly lovely;
All that is beautiful;
So truly beautiful;
All that is divine;
All that is full of light;
Has come Into my sight;
And I know;
The ultimate answer to the question;
Where true happiness is?
Such happiness;
That makes you forget;
Every guilt;
Every sadness;
Which takes you to a place;
Where there are flowers;
That ever bloom;
Where there is such light;
That no darkness;
And no evil;
could ever destroy;
But I think so for moment;
Only a moment;
And then;
I come to realities of life;
Where I stand;
What I have;
What I have not;
my heart drowns in guilt and sadness;
But my hope becomes stronger;
Because I know;
That there is a place;
Where there is a never ending light;
3 AnswersPoetry9 years agoI wrote this poem about love.Please comment.?
LOVE
Its in the hearts, Its in the souls;
How it starts, No one knows;
Not for a woman, Not for a man;
Love is for any one, Who you like;
Someone, Who sweetly strikes;
The door of your heart, And becomes;
Your body's part;
It can be any one, Who you like;
It may be someone, Who you hate;
But really...., You like;
Love is for every one, Who treads under the sky;
Like love of God, For creatures he made;
Love of mother, For the child;
For whom she prayed;
Love of man, For God;
Who everything creates;
But in some loves, You like ones;
Who have done, Nothing for you;
You have done, Nothing for them;
Aha!
What can I say about love?
But love is love;
It ends never, It is forever;
It never dies, It lives in the skies;
In the heavens, Above and high;
What can I say about love to you?
But love is true;
Its for me, Its for you
2 AnswersPoetry9 years agoPlease help me giving title to this poem.Comments will be appreciated?
women!
what place you have in our hearts,
how love for you in us starts,
you know not.
how strange you make one man's heart,
when smilingly you meet and pass,
you know not.
how dream we day and night of you,
and wish our all fantasies come true,
you know not.
how hurt we feel when you 'sigh'
"we love you not" and say good bye,
you know not.
in loneliness how a man's heart fry,
for love and beauty, how he cry,
you know not.
what makes you laugh, what makes you cry,
what makes you sad, and say goodbye,
we know not.
how mysteries are woven in your hearts,
to make us cry and make us laugh,
we know not.
in all God's beauty, from doves to trees
its only you that all we seek,
why?
we know not.
5 AnswersPoetry10 years agoHow is my poem?"WOMEN"?
women!
what place you have in our hearts,
how love for you in us starts,
you know not.
how strange you make one man's heart,
when smilingly you meet and pass,
you know not.
how dream we day and night of you,
and wish our all fantasies come true,
you know not.
how hurt we feel when you 'sigh'
"we love you not" and say good bye,
you know not.
in lonliness how a man's heart fry,
for love and beauty, how he cry,
you know not.
what makes you laugh, what makes you cry,
what makes you sad, and say goodbye,
we know not.
how mystries are woven in your hearts,
to make us cry and make us laugh,
we know not.
in all God's beauty, from doves to trees
its only you that all we seek,
why?
we know not.
1 AnswerPoetry10 years agois my poem good enough or it need revision.?
I LAUGHED!
I laughed at the stars, I laughed at the sky;
I laughed at the moon and the cliffs so high;
I laughed at the clouds, at the wind, at the rain;
I laughed at the river and its long campaign;
And the sun then rose and faded the night;
I laughed at the sun so huge, so bright;
And the birds, then flew, in the sky, from nests;
And the sun, through its course, went east to the west;
I saw many events, many things, many scenes;
Many people…………….
Strangers and friends…………..
And I laughed;
I amused myself with all which I saw and I laughed;
And the night then came and darkness swept;
I felt tired and went to my bed;
I tried to sleep but found no peace;
……………..
I walked in my room , lonely and forlorn;
Thinking of the day that had long gone;
………………………………And I wept!
5 AnswersPoetry10 years ago